What If Simon Cowell Reviewed My New Website?

[CMMI-SVC Service System Development, SP 3.4 Validate the Service System]

Simon Cowell of American Idol fame offers candid -- often stinging -- critiques of Idol-wanna-be performances. Witness these Cowell-generated gems:

• "Not in a billion years... there are only so many words I can drag out of my vocabulary to say how awful that was."
• "You have just invented a new form of torture."
• "I assume there was no mirror in your dressing room tonight."
• "You actually sing like a train going off the rails..."

As I watched American Idol this past week (hey, we all have our guilty pleasures), I couldn't help but wonder...

What if Simon had been a member of my Validation Team -- the team that provided me feedback on CmmiTraining.com as it was being developed?

"Validation" was an integral part of my development process (see CMMI-SVC Service System Development, SP 3.4 Validate the Service System), and I depended heavily on comments like these to make sure I was developing a site that would be compelling and usable by its target audience.

This means I had to develop a knack for "translating" the Validation Team's comments into what they really meant. Of course, they would never actually say what they really meant -- at least, not as directly as Simon might -- because they're my friends and they might not want to criticize my "baby." But, for my site to improve, I knew I had to to strip their feedback down to its bare essence.

So, here are some of my Validation Team's actual quotes, along with my translations into "Simon-speak":

What My Team Said: "Visually it seems awkward..."

What Simon Would Have Said: "There are people in this world who design websites for a living. You're obviously not one of them."

What My Team Said: "I'm not sure how I feel about the layout of the Courses screen."

What Simon Would Have Said: "I hate the layout of the Courses screen."

What My Team Said: "Use bullets and a little more white space. Less words if you can."

What Simon Would Have Said: "You write as though you're being paid by the word ...by a very cheap magazine."

What My Team Said: "May need to evaluate your color/font/size choices."

What Simon Would Have Said: "You're colorblind, aren't you? That would explain a lot."

What My Team Said: I appreciate the concept."

What Simon Would Have Said: "This part is just plain stupid."

What My Team Said: "...radial buttons slightly larger than needed."

What Simon Would Have Said: "It looks as though you're designing a control panel for a nuclear power plant."

What My Team Said: "...looks sloppy"

What Simon Would Have Said: "...looks sloppy"

SPECIAL ADDENDUM: I just received an e-mail on this entry from one of my former students (Dave from California). I present it here because it's funnier than what I just wrote above:

Simon called it a self indulgent load of rubbish and the whole crowd boooo-ed

Paula thought the colors were beautiful and nearly wept in her cough medicine induced high.

Randy thought you rocked it Dawg! And your site is on the way to stardom. You’re the next American (CMMI) Idol!!!!